Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Shidduch Questions

When I got into the car on my first date, I knew three things about the guy: What he's looking for, what he's doing now, and which Yeshiva he went to.  I'm not telling everyone to do that, but get a life people.
I mean it.
I have heard such stupid, irrelevant questions that it makes me sick:
Why should anyone care if my mother comes to the Shabbos table in a robe? If she does, it means she's lazy? Or is it just practical that she doesn't want to risk dirtying a suit that she'll have to pay $20 to dry clean? Besides that, that doesn't mean the daughter approves of it and plans on doing it herself. If you're looking at the son, don't forget to check if the father evert takes off his hat, jacket, and tie throughout the meal. If so, when does that occur?
That's really important.
Does the girl wear a seatbelt in the car?
No, she's suicidal.
I understand there are tznius issues regarding the seatbelt.
Is it better to die? I think not.
Does the family use a plastic tablecloth?
If they do, they're just practical. They don't want a grape juice stain on the white tablecloth. Send that to the cleaners along with the mother's suit, and there goes $40. Who needs to be busy dusting off the crumbs for a half-hour after the meal?
Do they stack the plates at the table?
Meaning, do all the chicken bones end up on one person's plate at the top of the heap? all at the table? I understand it's gross to see every person's refuse gathered to one place. If it really bothers you, don't look. You want the hostess to make 35 trips from the dining room to the kitchen?

Monday, July 19, 2004

"A Boy in Law School is not a Ben Torah"

 This is what I was taught throughout high school in my little Bais Yaakov. Thanks for dissing my 2 older brothers, and maybe some of my classmates' fathers. Given the Halachos we were taught regarding our parents, like how we should treat them like kings... what if a girl's dad really is a lawyer? He doesn't deserve derech eretz as much as the next guy? That's not even the point.
 Why is it so impossible for them to believe that a "boy" can be in law school and still learn on the side? In this day and age, where one is ridiculed if he doesn't plan on learning forever, law school is more admirable. He displays a rare quality called HONESTY-he's not lying to try to impress anyone.  He won't pretend to go to Bais Midrash every day because his reputation demands it, or show up and do nothing all day. He's in law school because he knows what he wants to do, and admits that he is not cut out for learning all day. Because some people aren't.  Some people can simply choose law as a profession. And its OK!!
 There are so many guys learning now that are just doing it for their reputations, it's stupid. Girls, too, for their reputations, ask for guys that are learning, but they really know that they don't want it, they just want to look good. So, basically everyone is fooling themselves and each other.
 I am surely aware of the sincere learning couples--the guy, who truly enjoys limud Torah, and knows that that is what he wants to do. The girl, who feels a man's place is in a sefer, and that is 100% admirable. But only if it's real.
Why lie?

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Don't Judge Me, and I Won't Judge You

Unfortunately, since I was born and raised in Brooklyn, judging has become a terrible part of my nature. I see a girl in short sleeves and think, "I bet she didn't daven this morning." But I'm wrong. I know from personal experience
I daven every day, keep shabbos, have Bitachon in Hashem,etc. But I wear slits. Gasp. I wear denim. Gasp.
In high school, I was considered a bum because I didn't confrom to their cookie-cutter. I was demeaned and belittled only because I was honest. I didn't try to fool anyone into thinking I'm someone I'm not. And that bothered my school. A lot.
I was judged for minute things like a too-long skirt, or a thumb ring, but I knew that inside I am a G-d loving, G-d fearing Jew, at least that is definitely my goal. If that's the case, how can I judge others whose physical appearance don't convey those messages?
We're all in the same boat. Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.

There is also the opposite side of it. In the Modern Orthodox community, which most people praise as open-minded, and non-judgemental, I am often ridiculed for covering my elbows and knees. I'm not doing anything wrong, and if you don't want me to judge you for wearing v-neck shirts, and short sleeves, keep your mouth shut. Years ago, a girl asked mockingly, "Ohmygawd, your mom wears a sheitel???" Why should she make me feel bad for doing the right thing?
Once again, you don't judge me, I won't judge you.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

The Erev Shabbos Siren

What is the purpose of the Erev Shabbos Siren?

Almost everyone knows what time Shabbos begins. If not, he can check in the many Jewish publications flooding the streets of Midwood. It doesn't help anyone.
We are in Galus. We are in America. This is not our land. This is the Goyim's land. Why should we make ourselves more hated by disturbing their Friday afternoon. There have been many reports of noise violations. Why do we need this strike against us?

What good will it do us to try to dominate land that is not ours?

I know this is short, but there is nothing more to say. This siren should be discontinued.

The Non-Sensical "No TV" Rule

Two words: GET REAL. Almost everyone has a TV.
If you think that the 300+ students in your school don't wake up to TV and go to bed with TV, climb out of your cave.
More and more religious schools are jumping on the bandwagon of not accepting students with a TV in their homes. What's the outcome? They're making people lie to get their kids into a school. If they don't lie, their children end up in the one school left that takes people with TVs in their houses, and every other person who applies, which may be a bad influence on otherwise wholesome kids. These kids are wholesome if their parents refused to lie.
I believe "honesty is the best policy." That's what G-d wants from us. He doesn't want us to lie. So why would these so-called religious schools MAKE PEOPLE LIE???
In all these Bais Yaakov schools, you mention Spongebob Squarepants, half the class perks up. You mention Arthur (which is on free TV), the kids start listing the other characters on the show. That means their parents had to lie to get them into a school with a bunch of other kids whose parents had to lie.
I understand TV is not the best form of entertainment. Once you accept the children knowing they have a TV, you can try to influence them otherwise, and teach them why TV is bad. Not just that it is.
So stop making people lie. Accept people with TVs, and take it from there.