G'mar Chasima Tova
Or G'mar Chatima Tova....
Just not "G'mar Tov," since that's wishing someone a nice end. Which is good, too, but hopefully very premature.
May this year bring Geula and Yeshua to Klal Yisrael.
"When are you coming home?" I'd want to ask my friend who was visiting Israel. I changed that to "back." I stopped myself. "Well, no, we'll join you," I told her optimistically.
I've caught myself doing that a few times. Many times, however, I'm met with a chuckle, and a "You're so cute..."
I mean, I always learned that we should always anticipate Moshiach's arrival. And I still believe that.
When my grandfather was sick in the hospital, I kept hoping and praying that he'd recover, and get back to himself, as he continued to deteriorate. "Zeidy, you'll come to my Bas Mitzvah, right?" I asked, imagining him fully recovered. Was it unrealistic of me to look at my Zeidy, weak, sick, delirious, and actually believe for a second that he'd make it?Probably.
My last year in Seminary, I found a card in my desk that had been all scribbled. Apparently someone had used my desk the previous afternooon. I looked under the scribbles, being the curious person that I am, and found that it contained Brachos to recite upon Moshiach's arrival. I was inspired by the distributor's optimism(unless it was from the Lubavitchers who think the Rebbe is Moshiach...), and thoroughly disappointed in the girl who had used my desk the previous day and scribbled all over the thing.
Does that mean she was bored? Uninspired? Did I take the card too seriously?
One day in 8th grade, we were told that there'd be a fire drill at one point during the morning. My teacher was sure to be efficient in anticipation of the loss of 5 minutes. Lunch time arrived, and still no fire drill. "If only we waited for Moshiach like we were ready for this fire drill," she pointed out. I think if people lived "al regel achas" anticipating Moshiach, life would be chaotic. Should I not apply to grad school because Moshiach "might" or "is" coming?
Should I preface every plan with, "If Moshiach isn't here by then, I'd like to go to Pathmark tomorrow..."
I guess wishful thinking is a good start, right?
Anyway, with that in mind, may this year BE THE YEAR!! (No, no, this "WILL BE THE YEAR!!")
Guys Should Wear Them Too
A woman's marital status is generally pretty easy to detect. In Brooklyn, it's is she wearing a sheitel? Is she wearing a ring? Does she have a child?
A man's, however, remains a mystery.
In the age of the "Shidduch crisis," I think that must change. I can think of two frum guys my age who wear marriage bands. The Yeshivish think that's a goyish thing. They'd probably ask why I'm even looking!
But I think it's smart. Say you meet someone, under kosher circumstances, but don't want to come on too strong. If you ask, "are you married?" you've just given yourself away. If you subtly glance at their left hand, you'll know where you stand.
At a recent wedding, I sat with a very Tzniusdik single woman. She glanced toward the men across the aisle before the Chupah began. "There are some cute guys here," she pointed out. She suggested that the guys wear something on their lapels saying that they're married. I didn't mind her saying it since she's not the slutty type in the least bit.
I did point out that she's judging the guys based solely on their looks. "Well, at least you have that part settled, once you get some information, you can decide if it's worth anything, but you don't want to waste time noticing married men." I see where she's going, but I'd get kinda mad if guys did the same for girls.
It gets complicated though. You don't approach them directly. You have to find someone who might know them, and you might find quickly that they don't meet your standards, or simply aren't compatible...despite that, it's worth it.
I think marriage bands, or a less controversial symbol of marriage should be acceptable.