"A Boy in Law School is not a Ben Torah"
This is what I was taught throughout high school in my little Bais Yaakov. Thanks for dissing my 2 older brothers, and maybe some of my classmates' fathers. Given the Halachos we were taught regarding our parents, like how we should treat them like kings... what if a girl's dad really is a lawyer? He doesn't deserve derech eretz as much as the next guy? That's not even the point.Why is it so impossible for them to believe that a "boy" can be in law school and still learn on the side? In this day and age, where one is ridiculed if he doesn't plan on learning forever, law school is more admirable. He displays a rare quality called HONESTY-he's not lying to try to impress anyone. He won't pretend to go to Bais Midrash every day because his reputation demands it, or show up and do nothing all day. He's in law school because he knows what he wants to do, and admits that he is not cut out for learning all day. Because some people aren't. Some people can simply choose law as a profession. And its OK!!
There are so many guys learning now that are just doing it for their reputations, it's stupid. Girls, too, for their reputations, ask for guys that are learning, but they really know that they don't want it, they just want to look good. So, basically everyone is fooling themselves and each other.
I am surely aware of the sincere learning couples--the guy, who truly enjoys limud Torah, and knows that that is what he wants to do. The girl, who feels a man's place is in a sefer, and that is 100% admirable. But only if it's real.
Why lie?
posted by Michelle @ 7:52 PM
2 Comments:
I can't answer why people would lie to themselves & everyone else, creating their lives on falsehood. But, in general, I believe that the boy fakers end up with the girl fakers. There are few cases(I'm assuming) where a sincere learning boy ends up with a ditzy girl who's looking for that sort of guy because everyone else is, and visa versa.
A guy asked me on a date why I'm looking for a learning boy. My answer was basically about a simpler, more meaningful lifestyle... When I told this to my father, he said that he's surprised at my not mentioning anything about a learning boy being, in general, a better, more refined person whom I'd rather have as a husband. I thought about it for a little bit & decided that I hadn't said that because I just don't think it's true. I have friends who married working boys who are real menschen with normal priorities, & I know of learning boys who aren't & with messed up priorities.
Right on!! Too bad I didn't read this until today-- in my last year of law school! ;)
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