Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My Contibution to Bad4's Shidduch Musical

My vast interest in secular music has led to me, well for one, to see their shidduch crisis as well as our own, but in that easily relating their lyrics- with small changes, of course- to the world of Shidduchim.
For those who are unaware, this is a contribution to a blog that is so well done, it makes me give up hope for ever writing my own Shidduch blog! BadforShidduchim - What can I tell ya? The kid knows what she's doing. Before you get lost in her world, read this!!!

I know it's lame, but my first song is Paula Cole's "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"
I got the original lyrics here
(And sorry I couldn't keep the syllable count the same)

Where Have All the Bachurim Gone?!

Oh you get me ready in your '08 Lexus
Why don't we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter in the Brooklyn Marriot
The mid-summer sun scorching,
I'd like a glass of cold Diet Coke (hold the lemon)
The maid do our laundry if you pay all the bills


Where is my gadol hador?
Where is my talmid chacham?
Where is my happy ending?
Where have all the bachurim gone?

Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and read a sefer
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from leaning on the shtender
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children if you[r parents] pay all the bills


I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you don't, but you don't even know the difference

We finally sold the Lexus
When we had another baby
And you took the job in yeshiva
You made friends in the halls
And you joined them at the shiur
Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes while you go to night seder


Where is my yungerleit?
Where is his shteiging shuckle?
Where is my bashert?
Where have all the bachurim gone?
Where have all the bachurim gone?
Where have all the bachurim gone?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Age Really IS Just A Number

Women in their 30s and 40s always claim that "age is just a number," since they are the same exuberant youthful woman they were in their 20s. The validity of that statement is debatable.

I actually experienced age being "just a number" recently at a cousin's Bar Mitzvah.

I have a cousin who is a year and a day older than me. She's married with two kids, we'll call her Tzippy*. One of my male cousins married a young woman a month or two apart from me (don't remember whether she's younger or older) , and she has two kids as well, we'll call her Yaffa*. I actually like both of these young women a lot and enjoy their company. You'd think family simchas could be a breeze with two cousins so close in age to me. (Two cousins I actually like, at that!)

Oh, and I have another cousin who's 2 or 3 years younger than I am who is also married with a child, let's call her Yocheved*.

When I arrived at the bar mitzvah, my cousins, aged 16 and 17 (who were always a little too young for me to hang with), Devorah* and Chani*, were extremely friendly and welcoming, and we proceeded to pose for photos together, at their, and our parents' request.

So we're the new trio. Devorah and Chani, to their credit, weren't treating me as though I'm a nebuch case, but it was expected that I was to hang out with these high school pishers.

I never had much to do with them before. I know that six years is different when it's 22 to 16 and when it's 16 to 10. But since they were always the group below me in age, I never really associated with them.

What happened here?

Tzippy and I remember our joint birthday party when she turned 5 and I turned 4. Despite cultural differences, we always hung out at family simchas, and get along great, B"H. Then when my cousin got married a few years ago, and I met his wife Yaffa, I liked her instantly, so she we hung out too. Tzippy and Yaffa are genuinely nice people and are great company. However, a few years later, these relationships are no longer relevant according to "adults" and the general expectations.

Obviously, Tzippy and Yaffa didn't abandon me. (If they did, I wouldn't like them and speak so highly of them.) But the way everything is set up at the simcha, and the way Devorah and Chani have embraced me into their group, and the general attitude among everyone, it seems I have been demoted to hanging out with them.

Now, math wasn't my strong point. Let's do some anyway. Tzippy, who is a year and a day older than I, is 23. I am 22. Yaffa is 22 as well. Devorah is 16. Chani is 17. Noticing a pattern? Even Yocheved is only 2-3 years younger than I am.

See? Age is just a number. It doesn't matter that Tzippy, Yaffa, and I were born in 1984-1985, and Yocheved in the late '80s. These kids were born in the freakin 1990s!


There is no ring on my left finger.

No husband waiting for me on the other side of the Mechitza.

No sleeping baby in a non-Bug-A-Boo stroller.

Because of these circumstances, (which many of them believe I created for myself) I am 16 again!

*names changed for id purposes