Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Old Hishtadlus Argument

I discovered that I have mixed emotions toward a few issues. That's normal, right?

Anyway, here's one I'm constantly debating in my mind.

A woman was telling me about her trip to Israel. She explained that she and her husband didn't wait in any long lines to see Gedolim because she didn't feel it was necessary.

B"H Parnassa isn't an issue, she has two children who will soon enter the "shidduch parsha," and B"H she is healthy.

Her rationale was, "why should I waste his time when people have real problems?"

On a similar note, when someone mentioned a shidduch meeting to her, she said that her daughter is still young, and did not want to waste others' time because it is not so pressing.

I admire her for that. She realizes that others are in more need than she is, and she shouldn't bother others with her "petty" issues.

On the other hand, why discount the value of a Bracha? Doesn't everyone need a bracha from time to time?

I know another woman who has been marketing her daughter like she's an old maid since the day she stepped off the plane from Seminary. Bugging everyone she knows, distributing resumes left and right...Is that "hishtadlus" or idiotic neurosis?

I'd still prefer the first woman's attitude.

One of my teachers in high school got engaged when I was in 10th grade. She had taught in the elementary school as well, and had gotten to know my grade very well. She about 26 at the time, she told us. She gave an emotional speech of what it took for her to come to this day in her life.

She had a copy of some Tefilla (was it Tefillas HaShlah?) and told us she had been saying it since her teacher gave it out in whatever grade it was. She distributed a copy, and convinced us that the reason she got engaged when she did was that she had said this tefilla daily since whenever.

What does that say about the many, many young girls who get engaged at 19 with nary a tefilla on their lips?

Had she gotten engaged at 26 regardless of whether she said the tefillah or not? Or had she not said the tefilla, would she have gotten married later? Did it really matter???

P.S. I'm not sure the two scenarios connected...but I still made my point, right? ;)

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