Sunday, August 15, 2004

What do girls want on dates?

My brother suggested I write this, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Also be aware that I am weird, and that most people that read my site are girls, but whatever.

1) When you call us, be friendly. I know you don't know who we are. Make believe you do. And don't hang up after 2 minutes. Be involved in the conversation. Don't sound half-dead.

2) After the phone call, don't make expectations. Why should you expect me to be something I'm not, come with the wrong expectation, and be too biased to see it any other way?

3) Open the car door for us. It's so put on, but it's not polite if you don't. And hopefully there are no stupid feminists who would get all upset, "I can open my OWN door. I'm not a weakling, you know!" GET A LIFE.

4) It's nice when you ask if we're cold. Chances are, we're freezing and too shy to say so.

5) Say "please" and "thank you." We're always told to look out for that, I am warning you NOW.

6) Tell me where we're going. I don't like surprises. I need to know what to anticipate. (Ok, not everyone's neurotic like me)

7) If we go out to eat, don't order spaghetti, unless you're really talented. Or you're on date # 8 1/2.

8) If we're at a lounge, don't look around at the other couples on a shidduch date to see if they're having a better time, or the girls your buddies are out with are prettier. Am I that freakin' hideous?

9) On the way back, it's okay if there is something some people like to call "awkward silences." First of all, if there will be a second date, you don't wanna run dry. Second, if you're confident enough, it's not THAT awkward. Granted, it's uncomfortable, but not awkward. It's also possible you ran dry from those 3 hours sitting alone with someone you may have nothing in common with.

10) If you're interested in seeing us again, let us know subtly. If we don't get the hint, we'll get the message from the shadchan, but it doesn't hurt. When I said, "So, we'll be in touch with the shadchan," and reported back to my 'mentor', she yelled, "You showed you were interested!" Another 'mentor' interpreted it as, "Ok, so you're saying you're keeping it formal with the shadchan." I'm sure he didn't analyze that statement. Just went home and said his date "went well" or "was fine."

11) In terms of getting out of the car and walking us to the door, I never had that experience. He wasn't trained well enough. But my friends reported each time the guy walked her closer. "The first time, he walked me to my lawn. Then to the steps. Then up the stairs..." I'm sure the guy didn't do that intentionally, but girls who tend to be analytical, measure the status of the relationship through the distance from the door.


At 8/16/2004 11:56 AM, Blogger Dina said...

Great post. I don’t think we are asking too much of the guys to behave in an appropriate manner when going out on dates. On second thought maybe we are……

At 9/07/2004 12:19 AM, Blogger G Green said...

Thanks, that was a great help. There are a lot more men who read this than you think ;-)

At 12/13/2005 9:10 AM, Anonymous Chani said...

Rik-I guess I'm one of those stupid feminists. I've always thought that that whole opening the door thing is stupid. I can't open my own door? Where did this wonderful custom start anyway?


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