Sunday, August 08, 2004


Do you know why so many frum teenage girls go through such massive identity crises in high school? We're all expected to look the same, act the same, speak the same, and BE the same. My school had rules like, "no pigtail braids" (well, that's because a slutty-lookin' kid wore them to school once and was almost picked up on the way--j/k) "no printed socks" and no "sneakerish" shoes.

That kid came in with a full face of make-up--which understandably was not allowed, especially with kids like her in the school--and pigtail braids. Wow. I was even taken aback from that. So, fine, I get that.

The sock thing? What the hell could have been on the kid's sock already that you had to outlaw printed socks? not even a stripe going up the leg. Nothing. Bad enough we had a butt-ugly uniform, and rules about our hair. So some people figured, I'll make a statement with my socks. No can do.

So they went lower, and aimed for the shoes. One kid had light blue shoes, (which TOTALLY clashed, by the way) and was told not to wear them anymore. Since we had maroon stripes on our uniform, some kids bought red shoes. Those were outlawed, too. It was so sad, like a slow news day, when the principal stood up and announced a rule about SHOES. "Girls, there should be no light-colored shoes worn, or any red shoes, and girls, we're really going to enforce this--no 'sneakerish' shoes are to be worn to school. I don't care if they're shoes, and they look like sneakers. If they slightly resemble sneakers, you'll be told not to wear them anymore, and possibly be sent home." For real. This really happened. I'm not lying, folks.

What's left??? Hair accessories? Those were sluttier than the red stripe on the sock, trust me. How is one to assume her own identity?? There's no way to express herself. What if she doesn't fit into that restrictive mold?? They either try to shove her harder and harder until she cracks, or she gives up.

I gave up. According to them, I cracked, but whatever. Shockingly, I wear slits (basically due to spite), but I never look nearly as slutty as the pigtail braid kid looked in her BAIS YAAKOV UNIFORM! Nice try.


At 8/09/2004 7:35 AM, Blogger Dina said...

I couldn’t agree more , Michelle. My school had similar rules, but I think they actually did have good intentions, but they went about it all wrong. The schools don’t know what is really considered slutty, so they have given up on trying to figure out what should be allowed and what shouldn’t, so now they just assur the most ridiculous things in hoping that the girls will eventually crack and conform to their guidelines. The problem with that is that it can make girls want to rebel even more.

At 8/09/2004 11:29 AM, Blogger Gary Student said...

Don't give me that garbage about lack of individuality. I remember a BY girl wearing platform shoes with a 3-foot platform, back when that was in circa 1997. That's not goyish? Puh-leeze.

At 8/10/2004 5:56 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

This BY girl got in trouble for it, and a bad reputation. The high school woulda sent her home for the day. Barefoot.

At 8/11/2004 4:42 PM, Blogger G Green said...

I love your site!
Although I guess I'm not totally familiar with all the ins & outs, I know exactly what you feel with regard to the strict dont-go-to-college-or-your-end-up-a-goy retoric from so called educators. OK its not for everybody, but someone has to support the ones learning. and btw (barry/isaac), I (and others i know) do keep up are learning, and still attend a non-jewish/ real college and accoring to (at least) one of my Rebbeim in Yeshiva I am still a Ben-Torah.

At 12/08/2004 11:44 AM, Blogger The Perfect Ema said...

I know i am reading all your entries out of order, and don't know when you will read this, but in direct response to your above post...want to be an individual? Be anorexic, which in turn leads to least your body will look different...

Or, do all BY students look like waifs nowadays? I am out of touch with America these days/years.

At 12/09/2004 7:18 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Many Bais Yaakov girls look like waifs nowadays, and if they don't, they are trying everything they can to look like one. I have a system that all comments are emailed to me directly, so i have read all of them, and will respond to some. Thanks!


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