Sunday, January 16, 2005

Where Has Derech Eretz Gone?

I am seriously so fed up with this lack of derech eretz. Teachers espeically bear the brunt of these spoiled children who never learn repsect. Most children nowadays do not learn repsect because they are raised my maids. These maids care about one thing: Their job security. They want their money. So they won't teach the kids anything. They'll spoil them rotten because they know as soon as Mommy hears her kid cryin, she'll fire the woman. So basically, we are left selfish, bratty kids.

This is obvious at many kiddushim. Here, the parents are actually there with their children. They display their own selfish behavior when they seat their 3 precious children in chairs that were set up for adults. So the adults have to manage their kugel, cholent, cake, and diet coke in their two hands, while these people seat their 5 year olds with a slice of turkey. That's not even the point. These parents realize that if they feed their children now, they're off the hook for a while. "Who cares about the adults? My child has to eat so I can pass him on to my maid sooner." These kids are taught that they come before anyone else. They're too young to notice what's wrong with what their doing. Their parents are too selfish to know. So they end up like these kids: (though the above is more extreme than the next story)

I was visiting a high school recently, and walked into the office to find a student in the secratary's chair. I was appalled. I asked, "What are you doing sitting there?" with a confused look on my face. "What are you talking about? I live in this chair!" She responded casually. "Well, that's totally inappropriate and I don't approve," I informed her.

Then, during the break, all the girls came swarming in, and helped themselves to whatever they pleased. They opened drawers, made photocopes, and phone calls. This was beyond me. Yes me. The BUM who watches TV and listens to goyishe music...would never ever consider doing anything remotely similar to that. That whole TV thing is just a friendly reminder of how badly I was treated because of it, yet I would never do things like that, like their beloved fakers. I mean, frummies.

Okay, my point is: Where has Derech Eretz gone?

16 Comments:

At 1/17/2005 5:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no question, it's gone down the toilet bowl. You're right on, as usual.

 
At 1/17/2005 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've noticed that the lack of Derech Eretz thing applies to almost all kids not even those "raised by maids". When I was eight and me or any of my classmates would have said something even remotely chutzpadik we would have been punished that minute. It may be the lack of fear of authority that exists now. "It's okay my mother said that the principal is an idiot anyway......" Nobody I grew up with would have ever said that--and I'm still a "teenager" now!
~~MS

 
At 1/17/2005 10:14 AM, Blogger The Perfect Ema said...

I agree with Anon #2, I am from "out of town" and the students in general are not raised by maids and yet the level of proper respect for elders is completely out of line nowadays (for the past maybe 8-10 years...from where i am from).

I had a teacher who was teaching in the middle school and had to quit because she felt that she just couldn't relate to these students anymore--the lack of respect was just too much for her to bear. Now, i am not saying that i was not chutzphadik. When i think back to how we treated our teachers, our very great rebbetzins, i am ashamed of myself.

I do think that anon was right. A major part of the lack of respect is that the parents tell things to their children that they should not hear. If you are going to send your kid to a school then you can't badmouth the principal or the rebbe. You have to stand strong behind what they say or do. If there is a problem, obviously, a meeting may have to be set up, etc, but the child should not know that you disapprove of things the rebbe or principal does, except under extreme situations (i.e. abuse, etc.) If a school holds that the children should not watch TV, have Internet, etc, then the parents should not have those things or do those things!!! Or, send your children to a different school!

Teachers have to respect their students. Principals have to respect the students. Parents have to respect their children, but not be afraid of them. Parents are lazy nowadays. This generation was raised (many of them) in a very lazy manner. Give bottles of formula, why nurse? That takes effort, work, time!! Say no to the child? I could never do that!!! He'll throw a temper tantrum! Besides, i feel bad. I was working all day, i am home with him for two hours, i am going to waste this precious time with tantrums and saying no? And, that is where the real problem exists!!! It's the laziness syndrome of the parents and the guilt of being away from their children fraught with trying to be the "perfect parents."

Even the post high school kids have a lack of respect. Guys will just come in our house without knocking, and not understand what is wrong wth that!! Okay, gotta run, but i could definitely go on....though, i only know when i will be getting rid of this Internet thing as i want my son to get into a good cheder.....

 
At 1/18/2005 5:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree with both of you. Badmouthing a moronic rebbe is not what leads to a general lack of respect, assuming the guy really is a moron. I say, it's the whole self-esteem cult that has caused a drop in DE. God forbid you should criticize your child, even constructively and in a loving way, because that may damage his self-esteem. So parents can't teach right and wrong. Criticize your son and he'll report you for abuse.

And you know what? These idiots with no DE don't feel good about themselves - they think everything is coming to them, and they're, for the most part, a miserable bunch. See the latest issue of Psychology Today for more on the sham of the self-esteem cult.

 
At 1/19/2005 10:30 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

It's a combination of what the last anonymous said, and what Perfect Ema said. Perfect Ema said that the parents are trying to be perfect. Anonymous brought out the point about the self-esteem. The parents are SO worried about their children's self-esteem that they are afraid to criticize. These parents are so freakin' insecure, they don't know WHAT to do, in effort to make sure their kids aren't as insecure as they are.

It's definitely true that the disrespectful kids are the insecure ones. They feel ethe need to show themselves up to the authority.

My error in this post was trying to include too many things under one huge category and not providing specifics. Next time I'll try to SPACE IN when I write!

 
At 2/08/2005 6:19 AM, Blogger FD said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12/15/2005 9:47 AM, Anonymous Chani said...

I work in a school where it's known fact that the kids are spoiled rotten. The only people in my class who don't have housekeepers are the teachers! The kids all know that when we yell "What do you think I am, the housekeeper?" we are really mad. It's exactly like you said-the kids are raised by the maids who don't speak English, & wouldn't discipline them even if they did speaka da language because their job is at stake.

 
At 5/27/2006 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kids nowdays in yeshiva are only taught learn learn learn! They aren't taught respect. I saw an old lady had fallen once and a yeshiva boy walking by said sorry its untznius and I can't help you up. I won't post here what I said to him as I ran over to help her up. It is extremely frustrating as that is only one of many scenes I have experienced with undisciplined yeshiva boys

 
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