Sunday, December 19, 2004

Jews' Undying Need to Be Like the Goyim

My mother's friend was describing a Channuka party she had attended. "Then we played secret Macabee. Ever heard of it?" My mother and I were dumbfounded. She went on to tell us how people pick names out of a hat to decide who buys a present for whom, andthen exchange them at the party. Each person attaches a note for the recepient and s/he has to figure out who sent it. "So, basically, you played 'Secret Santa' "I told her. She was appalled, "No, it was Secret Macabee.." Okay, lady. Something tells me that this was yet another thing we stole from the Goyim.

That's why, in a way, I think the Yevanim have unfortunately won.

Similarly, do you notice how excited people get when they eat vegetarian burgers and put cheese on them? "Look! I have a cheeseburger!" I don't think I'd eat them even if I was allowed to. It's just too much...sounds really salty. But whatever. People think cheeseburgers are so cool. Why? Becuase the goyim eat them.

Then, there was an eatery called McFleishigs. Just as sleezy as McDonald's, but I think they were shut down because of the trademark. Something legal like that because of the name. Did they really think that would attract people? I mean, look at what goes on in Israel. People run there to try out all their kosher restaurants that are traif here.

They don't stop there. Look at the music. Anyone who denies that the Chevra was an attempt to be the Jewish-Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, 98 degrees, O-Town or whatever-has got to be kidding. And, classic jewish style, they came out when boy bands were on their way down. And the concerts? Puh-leez. I think it's more tzniusdik to go to a Billy Joel concert. All the wrong type of mingling that goes on at these Jewish concerts is a plain disgrace. (That doesn't mean that they shouldn't have family seating, but that, again, is for another day)

Let's face it. Do you really think there would be Channuka gifts if the goyim didn't give Christmas gifts?


Oh, P.S. No smart comments about pizza being Italian. Completely different. Unless you talk about putting on perpperoni.

5 Comments:

At 12/20/2004 9:16 AM, Blogger The Yankee Despiser said...

I wouldn't talk, Miss I-pay-four-bucks-for-cucumber-sushi.

 
At 12/23/2004 11:51 AM, Blogger theajthomas said...

wow - this is intersting. I am a Goyim. I eat normal cheesburgers. I am way out of my depth to actually intelegently comment on anything here but it is interesting. I respect the passion with which you spout your opinions. Good job.

 
At 12/24/2004 6:39 AM, Blogger The Yankee Despiser said...

And how about the kosher Nathan's? What was the difference between that and a Meal Mart hot dog? Answer: It was wrapped in Nathan's wax paper.

 
At 12/25/2004 4:31 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

To the one who quoted all the hebrew, if I understood correctly, you thought of me as one of those people who claim never to have a desire for trief restaurants. I was actually gonna write a blog about the people who think they're frummer than everyone else because they claim that traif food looks gross and everything. I think that's a load of garbage. I'd do anything for BBQ wings from KFC and a sandwich from Subway. But I know I can't have it. The truth is, cheeseburgers just mean salt to me.

 
At 12/14/2005 9:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In my family we don't do Chanuka presents because my parents think it's a goyish minhag. I can't say I mind, because it saves me a lot of money. But I worked in a kindergarten last year where the teacher refused to include "presents" on a list of things we associate with Chanuka. She thought it was a completely not Jewish concept also.

 

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