In My Humble Jewish Opinion...

Anorexia in the Jewish World- Part 2

Non-TV Households

As I mentioned previously, I have a yeshivish friend who was anorexic. She actually used to watch TV when she was younger, so maybe that doesn't count.
But even in the yeshivish world, there are many anorexic girls. This is due to four things:
1) peer pressure- (possibly from those who are exposedto the media)
2) influence from their mothers
3) criticism from their mothers
4) Control Issues

1)Peer Pressure
The girls whose friends are on "diets" even if they need not be, tend to want to follow the trend. If everyone else is eating salad, it takes a lot of confidence to be able to down a slice of pizza. That's confidence that many teenagers do not have. Then it turns into a competition of who can consume fewer calories per meal or something. They also want to try to be skinnier than their friends, and girls will go to extreme measures to accomplish that. (I should have titled this "eating disorders" because bulimia is also prevalent, but I'm too lazy.)

2) Influence from their mothers
Think about it. When was the last time a day passed that your mother didn't complain about how fat she thinks she is? That's why second-graders are counting calories!!!!!!!!!! It gets infused in you if you are exposed to it so young. Most people grow up with that. You rarely hear people say, "I look thin," or, "I look good" so it's not cool to be heard saying that. Even if you are 10 pounds underweight.

3) Criticism from their mothers
I was a fat kid from 7th to 8th, but my mother never said a word about it. Maybe that spared me from a full-fledged eating disorder. In 8th grade, I decided on my own to go on a diet, and I lost about 35 pounds by the time i entered 10th grade. I haven't been able to keep it all off, but people say i look better a little fuller like I am now. But anyway, I remember spending Shabbos at a girl's house, (before I got fat) and this kid was chubby, and her mother didn't let her have cake. "_____, you're fat-you can't have that!" Who's shocked that a few years later she was completely anorexic? I'm not. That poor kid was definitely not to blame. Doing that to a child is practically giving them the handbook to anorexia.

4) Control Issues
I don't even mean domineering parents necessarily. I'm talking any failure that leads someone to feel helpless and out of control. When a girl studies really hard and still does badly in school, (Story of part of my life) she feels helpless and out of control. One thing she knows she can control is her eating. Nobody can shove something down her throat and make her chew and swallow. Even if they manage to do it, she'll throw it up anyway. She can't control her social life or her grades or her rules...so she'll control this. The worst part is, this control issue in front and center of everyone's anorexia, whether media exposed or not. And it gets worse with time, not better. When a girl's anorexic, her mind is always on food, and she always has dehydration headaches, so she can't concentrate in school, so she does badly. She also becomes anti-social, and the few times she is with her friends, she's in a bad mood, so nobody hangs with her anymore, so she feels alone, and more helpless. It just goes on and on.

It is imperative that children (girls AND boys) are raised with proper confidence and self-esteem to avoid these fatal diseases. Sometimes a kid can be well-raised and well-adjusted, and still have this problem, but I have yet to come across one.
Part 3 will deal with people who have TVs and then I think I'll move on.

posted by Michelle @ 2:55 PM