Thursday, September 28, 2006

The big questions

After Rosh Hashana, there are two questions you hear on the streets, and at Yom Tov tables.

1) "What time did you finish shul?"

I'm actually guilty of that one. I ask it all the time. Don't know why, but I care. What's funny is that some people use it as a guage to measure frumkeit. You finished at 2:30? Well, I finished at 3:00, so I'm frummer. I guess the fact that I finished at 1:05 the first day makes me a shiksa.

I was asked another question by many people that I found strange. I don't ask this question, frankly because I couldn't care less about the response.

2) "How was the Ba'al Tokeya? (Shofar Blower) Was the guy good? Did he screw up?"

Why do people care if the Ba'al Tokeya in a particular shul had a hard time? And if they were perfect? It's embarassing. It can be frustrating. Why would people talk about the man not being able to do Tekiya Gedolah? It's Lashon Hora on Rosh Hashana, and it's not even juicy. I mean, if it's juicy, and you get something out of it, that's another story.

3) How was davening?

Dude, no offense, but if I was unable to concentrate for the last hour on the second day because I was so hungry, do you think I'm gonna just tell you? When you ask that question casually, do you want me to answer with a whole meaningful, "I felt so connected...."? and make you feel like a bad person because you were bored?

Okay, so someone can answer, "long." Then you sound like a horrible person who considers Tefillah a waste of time. But hey, it was long. I have a right to say that because I can never sit through a 3-hr movie anyway.

Oh, and FYI, please consider this, shall we say, in jest. Don't take me seriously. It really doesn'tbother me that people ask these things. It's just interesting. That's all.


At 9/28/2006 9:14 AM, Blogger skepticbentorah said...

I think it's called , trying to make conversation. ppl have a hard time coming to terms with talking about nonsense after an inspiring hard core rosh hashashanah davening, so they start off the conversation with, umm, even bigger nonsense.
btw i finished at 10:15 and im quite proud of it.(of course i started by vasikin, 6:15)

At 9/28/2006 3:57 PM, Blogger Y.Y. said...

its not the time you finish that matters its how long it took and btw its not a measure of frumkiet what frumkiet is it to listen to some stupid chazan for 20 hours rosh hashana has turned into a concert very sad
why were you hungry you shouldve had your meal between shachris and missaf

At 9/28/2006 6:32 PM, Blogger Classmate-Wearing-Yarmulka said...

I think it's just the opposite. You want to hear that your shul finished first so you can laugh at all the poor idiots who got home at 3:30

At 9/28/2006 11:15 PM, Blogger lost99 said...

I loved the disclaimer, and Big Bro thinks you should get a facebook account. May you have long/short/meaning davening Yom Kippur, a Shana Tova, and good Shabbos!


At 9/29/2006 5:15 AM, Anonymous Yitzi said...

It is boring, I agree...and inevitable.

By the way, we started at seven and finished at 3 and 3.30. I have never even been anywhere that finished before 2.30. So you're all goyim!!!

At 9/29/2006 6:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe people ask so that if they dislike their shul they can find out which shul are better and then switch.

At 9/29/2006 1:07 PM, Anonymous something anything?!? said...

When people ask how was davening they usually mean how was the general experience. Like did it start on time, when did you get there (for females), did you enjoy the chazzan, were the kids noisy, was the kiddush any good, was the air conditioner too strong, was somebody kicking you the whole time or shaking your chair or breathing on you, did the Rebetzin give you a big hello, did you see anybody interesting that we can gossip about etc etc etc

At 9/30/2006 8:20 PM, Anonymous megapixel said...

wait till simchas torah, how long were your hakafos? what time did you finish? etc. funny, jews are the same all over. good to know.
and the second topic of conversation still comes around to the monsey chicken guy.

At 10/01/2006 11:37 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

megapixel--until the next hot scandal

At 10/04/2006 5:44 PM, Anonymous TheOne said...

Haha! 1:05PM on the first day? We finished at 12:45...


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