It's like Garlic Breath--it never goes away
I entered the Brooklyn College campus the other day, and spotted her from a mile away. The walk. I knew that walk. The hair, oh, yeah, that hair. And the skirt with that length that shouts, "I might as well be wearing pants, but of course I can't, because I'm 'frum'" (Truth be told, I can see the source of resentment. My school hated her more than they hated me, and that is not an enviable position.)I saw her talking to someone, and walked right past her. Oh, yeah. It was her. I think.
I walked down to the cafeteria, and met a classmate there, "How are ya Michelle?" "Nervous," I responded. "But I just don't know why," I thought aloud. It was not nerves. It was resentment. It was just this feeling that took me back to the insecurities of high school. This girl was hell to me in high school.
When we were in Seminary together, she had the chutzpah to "break the ice" by asking for my notes. "Lemme get this straight," I asked one of the queens of my high school class, "you don't say two words to me since 1996, and now 15 minutes before a test, you want to borrow my notes." "Pretty much," she replied, coldly avoiding the fact that we played together as kids. "Okay," I said, my hands trembling. I handed them to her, and felt I had been whooshed back into high school mode.
Oh, and FYI, short story about the kid--she must have lost something, and asked the crossing guard to find it for her. We walked into the building together (a whole other story) and the crossing guard starting telling her about how she looked for her thing, and that she fell--the kid was just all, "thanks, thank you," and ran away. Didn't wanna give the woman the time of day. She continued to tell me what happened. "I went to find her thing, and then I fell, and I hurt myself, and I was screaming....but this girl, she don't wanna hear nuttin I wanna tell her. She don't care." The whole issue about this woman being mistreated, and many other chinuch issues that ironically take place in the building of Chinuch is for another day. Point here is just to vent about how I don't like this kid, and how she made me feel.
posted by Michelle @ 12:00 AM
12 Comments:
What exactly was the problem with her in HS?
anon---can't go into detail--too many readers might bbe able to ID her.
jbl--thanks
Just, basically, how when we treat ppl like garbage, they feel it for a long time
Just wait for your high school reunion!
One of the reasons ROmy and Michelle's HS reunion is on my fave movie list
ugh-ness. She's graduating soon? (right?) Does that help?
PS. miss seeing you around!
When you say: "the skirt with that length that shouts, "I might as well be wearing pants, but of course I can't, because I'm 'frum.'" Aren't you being a bit judgemental?
Yeah, you have an issue with her, so your opinions of her are colored by that, but is it fair to say that she "might as well be wearing pants" due to the length of her skirt? Unless she's wearing a mini-skirt, it seems a bit harsh.
Michelle,
there's a girl like this is every class. In every school. in every grade. I still see from time to time the girl that made my life hell in school. She was always prettier, always more popular. She always had the clique of the more popular girls walking with her. Why is it that these girls eat at us even after we're old enough to know they're not any better? I can relate to this post. I can relate to how it seems that things come so easily for these girls and I can relate to the nervous feeling you have. Chin up. Walk by her with a high head and if she ever asks for anything try to be bold. Make her eat her question and just say no.
Oysh. I know people like that, and for years I would feel sick whenever I'd run into them. But now, thankfully, the likelihood that I'll run into most of them is pretty slim.
I feel for ya.
Michelle,
I just found your blog, and I've skimmed through some of your past posts...if ever there was someone who articulated everything I think about issues in the Jewish community...it's you.
Keep it up!
sara with no h---thanks :-)
Hi
As for the commentor who asked if you're being judgmental - and what if? Please don't let PC get in the way, this is a personal blog and we want to know the real you.
By the way, I think it would have been more honest of you to have told the girl that she should have befriended you before if she needed your notes. Your resentment is probably as much of your own weakness as of her chutzpa!
Kesiva v'chasima tova
Interesting post--something similar happened to me in high school with one of "the queens," but I didn't give her my notes--let her think I would let her cheat off me and then kept my paper covered. I just wrote about this in my book proposal...I guess "it wasn't just me..."
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