Ah-ha! So it IS True?!
By now, we're all aware of the horrific molestation that went on/is going on in our community; in our Yeshivas and camps. I don't even have to name names. But for those living under a rock, I'll spare you the Lashon Hora. (And I ask of my readers please not to mention names, as there ARE some who don't know against whom the allegations are pending)As these rumors surfaced, more and more people took a passionate position on it. Some argued for the "victims," while others completely denied the possibility,
"No, how could that be possible?! Why would a Rebbe molest a child?"
"He's a Rebbe, a frumme Yid...no frumme yid would do such a thing..." (It's called reality-look into it)
"Wouldn't all the other kids know about it? Why is this coming as a surprise to everyone if it's been going on for so long?"
Others were open to the possibility, since it IS 2006, and many priests have been accused and, you know, Michael Jackson and all that...(I know, Lehavdil!!!!!!!!)
"Why would the guy say he was molested if he wasn't?"
"No matter how much the guy could hate this Rebbe, why of all things would he choose THIS?"
"There was an article in a credible magazine about this, they wouldn't publish lies..."
"Anything is possible nowadays..."
"My friend's brother once told me..."
I can go on and on, and argue points on either side. When it comes down to it, nobody really knows if it's true. Except for those claiming to be molested. Actually, after I mentioned it to a friend once, she told me about her brother coming home with a friend's horrific story from a different Yeshiva.
What I don't understand is why haven't parents pulled out their children? And when my little brother asked his friend in this Yeshiva, he had no clue what he was talking about.
Whenever we drive past the building, my older brother jokes, "Next year---Condos!"
I don't think that place will close down anytime soon. There are too many people with their heads buried in the sand that will keep their kids there. I don't know why. I guess it's like the denial most NYers have about the whole hurricane thing, we're like, "NY can't have hurricanes..." despite numerous reports. Hopefully we won't have any, but have you seen bottled water, flashlights, and canned goods flying off the shelves? NO.
So maybe these parents think, "it won't happen to my kid," or, "Not in this Yeshiva," or, "He won't try it again after all this..."
That's how taboo this thing is.
Why is this taboo?
a) Anything relating to homosexuality or sex is taboo in this culture (besides to the Jewish Press) because there are no gay Jews, according to these people who'd rather live in denial than face important issues.
b) We are led to believe that Rabbeim are perfect angels. In fact, did you know that their children are a result of immaculate conception?
posted by Michelle @ 6:38 PM
20 Comments:
Michelle: agree with you on this one. I have a couple of points to add:
1) The taboo comes from the Taliban-eqsue frum media like Yated and Hamodia, who control much of the information for the chareidi world. Those guys would NEVER cover a story like this. And then there all the people who get over-paranoid when it comes to loshon hora and the like.
Think about it. If not for the emergence of blogs and if not for UOJ, this issue might've stayed under the rug for years.
2) I think the taboo ties into Orthodox Judaism's obsession with reputation. In many segments of the frum community, image is everything. So nobody wanted to step forward for a long time. And nobody wants to have their kid be part of a school with such lurid accusations surrounding it.
In fact, many people defending this rabbi have said, "how can you destroy the reputations of his wife and kids?" It's amazing. To hell with the victims, these people say. Let's worry about the molester's reputation! Unbelievable.
soooo - you call this blog your humble opinion? hmmm
how about - your outspoken opinion? your no holds barred opinion? your take no prisoners opinion? anyway...enough of that.
i have no idea why people would allow this to go on for so long when children were in danger. the topic/knowledge of child abuse has been out there in the media for quite a long time now, so no one should plead ignorance.
I agree my blog today talked about this in a bit of a different light. It is getting to be less of a taboo who knows what will be in 10 yrs maybe the yated would even broach the subject could u imagine lol.
Yor post and some comments echo what I said in my most recent post. The Orthodox world must stop making these issues taboo, or it will lead to more unfortunate situatiins like the current mess.
I hope they somehow find a way to resolve this issue.
"I hope they somehow find a way to resolve this issue."
Yeah, it's called putting sexual abusers in prison.
I'm not sure if you're refering to the same rebbe & yeshiva that I know of, but if you are, my brother goes to that school. We don't know for sure whether those stories are true or not, but that rebbe is not in that school any more.
Noone likes speaking about these topics for the same reason that when you are in college you didn't make a round table discussion, discussing all these "tabo" issues, and only waited to publish it on a blog.
Yes, all these topics must be discussed. Yes children and their parents must wake up... And smell the burning coffe.
That is where the internet comes in a bit handy, that with all the anoymous blogs people can publish their accusations about others.. The only question is, which ones are true..
But where there is smoke there is fire... Michelle, did anyone ever accuse you of mollesting a child?? I wonder why not?? Well I think its simple, if you didn't have a kid on you lap, and stayed away from such problems you would be ok.
About the hamodia and yated... So let's start a new paper... And ideas of a name to call it?? Howabout the JEWISH ENQUIRER??
Anon--yes, that IS the school I am referring to. But that is not the point. Yes, he was put on Admin. leave, but does that even help the situation?
It seems that this particular man hasn't done much molesting (or any?) within the last 20 years. So taking him out NOW, 20 years later, does it help? But then, should the kids worry?
What I dont get is...
If there are allegations about a Rebbe....before you do anything..you remove him from his post...
Then you can start deliberating and examining if its true...But if theres a chance that its true...the kids have to be out of harms way..give him a job in the store room.
JBL-I agree. I hope I didn't sound like I endorsed his blog. I purposely didn't mention the name, because I don't want to advertise his agenda. I don't agree with the horrific things he writes about our Gedolim, our leaders, the reason we are still around. However, the molestation thing, which I understand could be a gross exaggeration of "warmth", rubs me the wrong way. (NO PUN INTENDED!!) I believe it to be possible, and to whatever extent it is, must be stopped.
Have I clarified?
Oh, understandable, JBL. You're right, but it's not worth starting up with the guy. But you're right.
the molestation issue is very upsetting, and one of the worst things about it that you forgot to mention was the tremendous chilul hashem that resulted from it. the media is eating this stuff up. what's the difference between a rabbi or a priest? were supposed to be better than that, and sometimes the yated or hamodia feel that we are, so they shove things under rugs. but the truth is the only way we can be better than that is to acknowledge theses problems and face them head on, hopefully attempting to solve them.
Anon--they haven't yet, but they will soon, as more and more Rabbeim and Rabbanim are accused of similar practices
I just discovered this blog, Michelle. Thank you very much, its one of the sane ones out there. Just wanted to let you know that I started a blog dedicated to discussing this UOJ issue.
All the best,
Tuvya
hey, michelle! love ur blog. It's emgee, btw. I totally agree w/ u on this, i hate the way the jewish community totally sweeps important issues under the rug like that! i miss u, have a good one. keep onblogging!
i'm not really aware of the case that is being dicussed here but I personally know of several cases of molestation that took place in the frum communtiy. Well, not really of molestation but of molesters who were dealt with. I know of a guy who was given a beating in shul for molesting a young girl in the hallway of his apt building. I know of 2 guys sitting in jail for molestation one of them being a teacher in a jewish school. And i know of a teacher who was given a different position in the school where he wouldn't have any more contact with the kids. I am referring to cases in different parts of the world over the past 15 years. Some made the news others didn't.
We have tens of thousands of children ka"h in our school systems and thousands od rebbes teaching them. Some of them are dangerous. Very few of them. They should be removed from their posts asap and dealt with in a way that is best for all parties involved.
But to start worrying about married rebbes the same christians have to worry about their single priests who were told to keep their hands of the nuns in their moastery is slightly overdoing it in my humble opinion
It's a sad, sad, state of affairs. Not to criticize, but as someone who is an activist in this and other related areas, I have to clarify a something (and this could just be my misunderstanding)
You said in your post a) Anything relating to homosexuality or sex is taboo in this culture (besides to the Jewish Press) because there are no gay Jews, according to these people who'd rather live in denial than face important issues.
While I do not disagree with you about homosexuality being a taboo issue, I disagree with it's relevance here. You see, almost all (I'm talking like 95+ percent here) of child molesters/pedophiles/sex offenders (whatever you want to call them) identify themselves as heterosexual. So yes, homosexuality is taboo, but it is not relevant in this case, which is why it is possible that these stories/cases are true. Yes, priests in the Catholic church aren't married and there may be some that are gay, but the majority of them are straight and they are the ones doing the molesting. Just because a Rabbi is married and has children doesn't mean he can't be perverted and hurt children. Of course we do not want to think that all of them are that way, because certainly there are very few who are this way, but it does not mean that we can ignore the issue.
I think Isaac Kaplan also had a very good point about the Ortho world's obsession with reputation. While of course we would not want to damage the reputation of wives and children who are innocent and are probably in complete shock about the whole ordeal, we should not let that deter us from seeking out the truth. I think we must work hard to make sure that we portray each person as they truly are, for HaShem already knows what is in our hearts, so I don't think it is wrong to "tell it like it is" even if it might slightly tarnish someone's (or the community's) "reputation"
Where did you find it? Interesting read »
funny thing- you were sayin yay jewish press cuz it doesn't avoid certain 'taboo' topics and such, but as much as i'm for the dont censor our news stuff i still have to hide it from my younger brother every week! i mean after i read it its kinda shocking that my bro could get his hands on things he never knew before right from this jewish publication, eep
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