Why Do People Say Stupid Things?
I know, I know, we all say stupid things from time to time.I already wrote a piece about "IY"H by you"s, but for those who didn't see it, to sum it up, I said it's okay coming from some people, but hurtful and condescending from others.
At my nephew's Bris a few weeks ago, a well-wisher said with a wink, "May this little boy bring a big boy." Groan.
I was a little thrown off, and took a minute to process her backhanded, cheesy-as-all-hell comment. "Say Amen!" she prodded, adding, "that was a Bracha."
In this case, perhaps an IY"H by you would have been better.
Um, it's called subtlety. Look it up, lady.
posted by Michelle @ 12:06 PM
19 Comments:
omg can i slap her? yeesh what happened to tact
Oy.
I really hate those kind of bitches.
Also, you can't really come up with a good comeback. :-( Especially since she was blessing me and all.
This comment has been removed by the author.
why do people say stupid things? because they don't realize the statement is stupid, and in the case of iy'h by yous, they mean well. granted, they're annoying, but don't think it'll change once you're married. the comments will change, but they are extremely irksome nonetheless.
Frankly, people who say such things are those who are generally tinokot shenishba. It's hard to take them seriously for they know not what they do.
To be clear, I was referring to the "IY"H by you" sayers.
I had a roommate from seminary who got engaged 2 months after seminary was over-the first girl from our year to get engaged. When I went to her vort, she didn't give me any brachos or even say "IHBY" but I quickly forgot about it. My friend called me a week or so later & apologized for not giving me a bracha, & said that she hadn't done so at her vort because she didn't want to sound like she was gloated. Now that she was talking to me in private, she felt more comfortable giving me a bracha. I thought that was an interesting way of handling the situation.
People in general say stupid things because they feel the need to say something. So they blurt the first thing that comes to mind and it usually ends up being pretty stupid!
Here is one that takes the cake!
My friend recently got engaged and she met a family friend on the street. The woman says to her "Oh mazel tov! i know your future in laws and i am telling you i never would have imagined this shidduch! you just so doesn't seem like the same type"
Now what was the lady smoking> why would she think anyone would want to hear that?
This blog has turned into:
(a) Dumb letters to the Yated;
(b) Dumb things that people say to Michelle.
Anon 6:38 - after reading this piece, the IMAX piece, and the "perfect" piece, sure looks like there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Anon 6:38-if that bothers you, you don't have to read it. This is my blog. I write about what I want to write about. It's your choice whether you want to read it or not, but insulting me is just plain rude and immature.
As for the other comments:
halfshared: Oh, HELL YEAH! I think that all the time. You'd think you'd be married a long time ago. But like they say, "you never know..."
Kaila: I think some people mean well, others mean to shove it into others' faces.
Orthoprax: same idea, I think some do know exactly what they're doing. Some. Like 1/5.
Chani: That's a much more sincere way of handling it.
And PS..scan the entire page: not one is based on a letter to the yated
It's your choice whether you want to read it or not, but insulting me is just plain rude and immature.
Michelle,
Personal question.I often wonder when I see bloggers like you who are always critisisng the rest of rest of world complain if someone insults them.Although the halachos of onas devorim definitly apply to yourself I'm at loss to understand how someone who dishes out so much critisim of others could complain about being given some herself.
If you find this comment offensive please accept my humble apolgy and delete it.
Anon 11:10-- I will not delete your comment for two reasons. 1) You said what you did with respect, and I appreciate that. 2) It would take away from the honesty of the comments and my blog.
I sometimes find that my attacks are not on anyone in particular, and if they are, such as this case, this person was not identified. Here, I am a somewhat identified person, and an attack on me is more personal.
But you do raise a valid point. My father always says, "if you give it, ya gotta be able to take it." Thanks for your comment.
Ugh. [gag]
Stupid people are annoying. End of story.
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Two ways, I think people said stupid things because they haven't taken any education or they live without brain !!
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