Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Yeah, I'm Being Judgmental Again

The supermarket was pretty empty.

Each register had 2 customers in line, max.

I had a basket with a few items, and found an open register.

As the cashier is ringing me up, I start fumbling through my thoroughly disorganized knapsack for my wallet. A woman shows up behind me. "I just have to find my wallet," I tell her with a friendly smile.

"Great, so now I'll get a ticket," she rolled her eyes in response.

"Well, then why don't you try parking legally?" was on the tip of my tongue. I'm good with the sharp retorts, people.

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention," I said aloud, blushing.

I looked at the other relatively empty registers, contemplating recommending them to her, figuring that by the time she got there, someone with a full cart would get right in front of her, and someone with more items would get behind me.

"Sign, please," the cashier interrupted my thoughts as she handed me the receipt. Should I sign really slowly? I asked myself, my chest tightening.

"Now! Now! Say it now!!" the voice in my head dictated.

I looked back at her, thinking this is my last chance. She tapped her finger impatiently on her box of ices.

"Sorry," I said again, as I hurriedly picked up my bags and left.

The steam coming out of my ears might have been visible when I left the store.

Why can't the woman park legally? or do without the ices?

I'd understand the scenario had this been in a pharmacy where it's extremely difficult to park. Meds are important. They can be earth-shattering.

Park legally, and you won't have this problem. Or do without the item. Yes, I should have been more responsible and had my wallet out sooner, but what if an item I was purchasing wasn't in the computer, and she had to ask someone? Don't leave your car unattended at a hydrant or bus stop for freakin' ices. Invest an extra quarter in the meter. Or do without it.

Sometimes people actually do feed the meter, and end up either losing track of time, or getting held up. In that case, I completely sympathize with the person. But if she knew she only had 2 minutes on the meter, either leave, or add another quarter.

I was just peeved at the attitude this woman gave me when I was clearly being apologetic to her.
It was NOT my fault had she gotten a ticket. It's not my fault she decided to park illegally and act like a total bitch to me.

On a separate note, I wondered whether the situation would have been the same had she been of the modern ilk, rather than the "yeshivish." But then again, that's part of the not-really-ever-proven stereotype of "modern people are more polite and have better middot than the yeshivish."

12 Comments:

At 5/22/2008 6:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry but ur judgmental attitude where u judge individuals without knowing anything about them and make assumptions about groups based on actions of individuals disgusts me

 
At 5/22/2008 8:26 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

And parking illegally, disrupting the entire flow of traffic, and yelling at me for looking for wallet doesn't?

 
At 5/23/2008 1:45 PM, Blogger Jessica said...

I hate when stuff like that happens. Though I find it's more of a New York thing in general, than just limited to the yeshivish community.

 
At 5/25/2008 12:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm just surprised you used the B word in your post. i'd get a little annoyed at anyone taking a while to pay the cashier, but that's even if id have parked legally; im just a new yorker with very little patience.

 
At 5/25/2008 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

-IYHBYYOU, forgot to sign prev. post

 
At 5/25/2008 10:16 PM, Blogger M said...

Question- how do you know she was parked illegally? Maybe it was just the other things your suggested?

And also, all you mentioned that she did was roll her eyes and say, "Great- now I'll get a ticket. Obcvisouly, there are ways of saying that you really need to get out quickly nicely, but I think you're overreacting and lambasting this woman for one minor incident.

 
At 5/26/2008 9:00 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Why else would she fear getting a ticket?
If she were parked perfectly legally with significant time on the meter--- unless she's severely paranoid, and practically hyperventaiates whenever she sees a traffic cop even though she knows she's legally parked (like me) --- she has no reason.

I don't think that was "nicely." I've been in a hurry and behind a slow-poke, but I know there's nothing I can really do about it. Telling the guy to hurry is not going to accomplish anything.

 
At 5/26/2008 9:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe the woman had 5 mins on the meter and had a half block walk and was afraid that she would make it back a few seconds too late! Why are you always so judgemental of everyone? You never give anyone the benefit of the doubt!

Also she didnt tell you to hurry, she said that she was going to get a ticket. She can mumble anything she wants and it really should have no impact on you because she was not telling you to do anythin!g differently

 
At 5/26/2008 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michelle, I agree whole heartedly with your comment. I hate how people think that their time is more precious than any other's. Just be glad, though, that she did not cut ahead of you while doing so claiming, "oh, of course you don't mind if I skip ahead since I only have these ices to pay for." Lady, yes I mind. I was here first and I can take as long as needed.

 
At 5/27/2008 7:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This woman sounds a little too entitled, imo. That's what happens when somebody is in line in front of you!You need to, you know, actually wait. You don't get the right to harass them about being slow getting their money out or whatever.
You would have been in the right to say something--though it wouldn't have accomplished anything. This woman sounds like she was just spoiling for a shouting match. At least you kept your dignity.
Still, as an out of towner, I agree that it's more a NY thing than a yeshivish thing.

 
At 5/28/2008 12:39 PM, Blogger Glenn said...

On the one hand, yes it is tough to park in Brooklyn.

On the other hand, that's no excuse.

You should not have to apologize to her, but you did the right thing not showing her your annoyance, even though you had steam coming out of your ears.

Kudos to you middos girl!

 
At 5/28/2008 8:22 PM, OpenID badforshidduchim said...

What an odd situation. I'd just pull the NYC manners on her and ignore her. Why apologize? It's not your fault she's in whatever position she's in. She couldn't have known the length of the lines in the supermarket or anything. And the extra 45 seconds you took wasn't likely to make or break anything. Someone so obviously idiotic doesn't deserve your rage. Sympathy, maybe. Heck - it could have been a really rough day. Or she could be a natural moron. Either way - poor her. Save the steam for someone cruelly obnoxious.

 

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